Monthly Archives: June 2006

Angels Angst

Arrrrrgh! That is the sound of one writer pounding her head against the wall. The. book. is. not. going. well. Did I say it was? I did, didn’t I? I was all cocky and confident that I would be done by the end of the week. I know the book will be done (I really have no choice, I NEED to turn this in by June 15th and I will, but god, it’s going to be a Herculean climb up the mountain to finish it.)

The problem is I have a beginning and an ending but no middle. I need to slow down the action, expand the characters, keep the mystery going. And I’m going to do all that. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to whip the first 150 pages into shape, so that the second 100 pages will just write itself.

Today I am going to bang my head against the wall and curse myself for even wanting to write this book in the first place.

What is Angels on Sunset Boulevard about?


-The Internet

-Los Angeles




-Cult brands

-Why some people always seem to be having more fun at a party than you are.

Doesn’t that sound like a good book? I thought so. But I have so many storylines and subplots and the book is a mess right now. I know that in two weeks it will be fine, that I will have a decent first draft. I have been here before and I know I can pull this book out of my psyche like I have done before with my other books. But right now I’m just suffering…


God, I’m whining…



Vanity Kills

Today while I was having breakfast, I tuned in, like I always do, to The View. The View is one of my guilty pleasures, I despise this program, and yet I can’t help watching it. Like a car accident. I used to curl my lip at Reeege and Kelly as well, but now I have come around…after all, it’s just entertainment. Kelly’s kind of cute, she has a good stylist. Mike, however, cannot stand either of these shows, so we have to breakfast separately.

Anyway, I happened to catch the segment on “Tanoxerics” and they had an 18 year old woman who was a self-professed tanning salon addict, and another lady who used to suffer from tanorexia. (They actually used this word as if it were a REAL disease and not a trendy word made up by lifestyle journalists.) They even had a dermatologist who was all grave and serious about the consequences of this disease. And what did the orange-skinned 18 year old have to say? Simply that she feels good when she has a tan, because of all the compliments she gets, so she “can’t stop”. THAT’S IT.

It was seriously so asinine. I’m so sick of everything being labeled a “disease” when it is a lifestyle CHOICE. This woman is not suffering – she is simply VAIN. And if she looks like a leathery Mulberry handbag in twenty years, whose fault is it but hers?

How can anyone take their looks so seriously? I have never understood this. I like to look good, and dress nicely, and get compliments as much as the next girl. But in the end, I also really like to be comfortable. There has to be a balance. I dress up when the occasion calls for it, but most of the time I just slouch around in my sweats and oversize t-shirts, since I’m just writing in front of my computer at home.

Lately I have been missing my hectic New York social life, I have been a little cooped up like a hermit with my books due, I haven’t had a mani/pedi in weeks, my eyebrows are grown in, and I just don’t feel like myself. But I don’t feel ugly either.

I also don’t understand when the culture bashes women’s magazines for making women feel inadequate. Huh? How can a magazine make you feel inadequate? As Eleanor Roosevelt said, the only person who can make you feel inadequate is yourself. (I’m paraphrasing here.) Magazines are fun and filled with fantasy. And beauty is to be admired and respected, but so is intelligence, diligence, and perseverance. All good qualities.

Anyway, what really got me was Elizabeth on the View taking the 18 year old tanorexic’s hand and saying that they are “there” for her and “she is beautiful” with crocodile tears in her eyes. Bleccch. I almost choked on my cereal.

I guess I should stop watching The View.

Yesterday I wrote twenty pages of ANGELS. I’m pretty confident I can finish the book by the end of next week, and then I’ve given myself a week to go in and rewrite it before I turn in the first draft to my editor. The fun thing about writing is that as you get into it, you discover all these new twists that can happen, which I didn’t even have in my outline. (I’ve kind of chucked the outline out the window, although I’m still hitting all the major plot points.)

The funny thing is some days, I really HATE my book and think it just SUCKS because it is ruining my life. All I do is worry about it. And then some days, I really enjoy it, and I’m having so much fun writing it, and it’s really cool to have that experience. Which makes the bad days worth it.

Does anyone else read this blog? She’s a crime writer, and she is soo cranky! I love it, it’s so funny. I love that she’s so honest about how miserable writing is most of the time.

And thanks to all the emails about Blue Bloods!! I’m sorry the second book isn’t out till next year. I’m actually still writing it now. It’s really fun and has tons of surprises!