Bring Home “Bringing Home the Birkin”!

Only about sixty more poems left to be read! Whoo…powering through.

I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but I’m also trying to finish two books, write a new TV pitch, and raise a kid…

I know things are overwhelming when all I do is tune out and obsess over a new handbag!

That’s right. Still in the clutches of Birkin fever. Yesterday I devoured “Bringing Home the Birkin” by Michael Tonnello. Two manicured thumbs up!! Hilarious, gossipy, bitchy and insider-y. Michael figured out “the formula” to buying a Birkin. Basically you just need to be a SERIOUS buyer. Show them you mean business and that you’re a regular customer. He would buy a thousand dollars worth of Hermes trinkets, then CASUALLY ask if they had any Birkins. Every time I have gone in to ask about the Birkin, I have no intention of buying it right then. I just want to SEE one. But now I am ready. The husband has given the go-ahead. Birkin greenlight! Of course, Mike reminded me that he’d already agreed to buy me a Birkin two years ago, but I decided it was just to gross to spend that much on a handbag.

But now, I really, really, really want one.

So off to Beverly Hills I go…

This blog has become a Birklog, hasn’t it? Sigh.

Other shopping updates: I finally bought one of those maxi dresses. You know, the spaghetti-strap dress that goes all the way to the floor. Very hippie 70s Cali beach chic. I finally found one that DID NOT MAKE ME LOOK PREGNANT. Joie. $325. Bloomingdale’s. Tres comfy. I also bought a crisp white Diane Von Furstenberg shirt dress. ($149 from $400!) And a James Perse t-shirt ($39). I’m not a t-shirt girl. I think to be a t-shirt girl you need to be the thin-upper-arms-and-protruding-collarbone girl. I am not that girl. I am the no-butt-and-skinny-legs girl. You only get to be one kind of girl. (Although I guess supermodels gets to be both, but they are a different species.) Normal girls either look thin on top or on the bottom. It’s taken me thirty-six years but I finally realize I cannot do every trend and should just highlight the assets and hide the “problem areas”. (I still remember the Beverly Hills 90210 episode where Kelly and Donna talk about their problem areas and it was the first time I thought, oh my god, I HAVE PROBLEM AREAS???)

But a Birkin looks good on everyone.