Billion-Dollar Babes of Every Stripe, The WGA Strike is Killing my Marriage, And Why I’m Downsizing

So much shopping and celebrity-sighting has been going on! But since I’ve been swamped by deadlines I have forgotten to blog about it.

First off, there IS a sequel to Masquerade. It is called REVELATIONS and I just right now, turned in the outline for the book. It took me six months to write the outline! So basically the book is pretty much done. Fleshing out the outline usually takes anywhere from two weeks to six weeks. Everything that’s in the book is in the outline. I find it’s a much easier way to work when I know how everything is going to stack up. All the plot points are covered, all the build, all the ahem, revelations.

Did you know the Book of Revelations is actually called the Book of Revelation? It is "The Revelation (NO "s") of Jesus as Told to John".  It’s a common mistake apparently. I was a bit distressed when I discovered this, but after much careful thought and talking to my husband, I decided to keep the original title, Revelations with the "s". Somehow "Revelation" isn’t as strong sounding and also I like that it IS a little different from the Bible.

Revelations (the Blue Bloods one) is going to be just too too too fabulous. I do believe I get better as I do more of these things. You start to know shortcuts on how to make the books ‘go’. But who knows?  I wrote a really detailed outline for Angels on Sunset Boulevard too and the first draft SUCKED. My outline sucked I just didn’t know it. And the book turned out much much better on the rewrite. But for Masquerade, I wrote a detailed outline and the book sprung to life from it.

So you never know. But I have a good feeling about this book.

Anyway, on to the shopping. My mom and I hit the Billion Dollar Babes sale in L.A. this weekend. Lots of INSANE Chloe at INSANE prices. I bought a fab white suit for $200! The suit originally cost $2500.  It’s so sharp and makes me feel like Tom Wolfe-meets-Bianca Jagger. I also bought a white silk ruffled Chloe blouse for $220 down from $1600. The blouse and the suit are so chic. White-on-white-on-white. I know it sounds weird, but trust me.

I also bought oversized-frame Oliver Peoples sunglasses for $100 (from $400) and a gold link choker with huge amazing crystals for $98, another pair of Chloe pants for $80 (from $735) and a crinkled blue and brown square-neck silk top from Tree for $75 (from $200). Fun, fun, fun!

As for the celebrity sightings, Mike and I went to a party at Moss and saw Philippe Starck! The famous French designer who designed all those fabulous Ian Schrager hotels (the Hudson, the Royalton, etc) and is basically the most famous designer around. Mike is an architect so Philippe Starck is like a demi-god in our household. Mike was the one who recognized him. I love that I am married to a guy who could recognize a French designer but has no idea who LeBron James is. We have a lot of Starck stuff in our house–our six polished aluminum dining chairs for one.

You know how I wrote that fashion money isn’t real money? This is what I think whenever I look at our six dining chairs: EACH ONE COSTS AS MUCH AS A BALENCIAGA HANDBAG!!! I could have SIX Balenciaga handbags instead of those chairs!! ARGGH!

But it’s OK. Mike loves those chairs. It seems insane to me to spend that kind of money on like, CHAIRS. But it does NOT seem insane to own six Balenciaga handbags.

At the Moss store we slobbered over Philippe’s "Happines is a Hot Gun" series–gold-plated AK47s as lamp bases and gold-plated revolver lamps. So chic, so perverse, so fab! We’re planning to buy two of the gun-lamps for our bedside tables. (OR I COULD HAVE ANOTHER TWO BALENCIAGA HANDBAGS!! AARGH!!) Philippe was wearing a dress shirt and loud print pants and looked really cool. We tried not to stare but we were in the presence of one of our heroes!

Then on Saturday we took Mattie to brunch at Le Pain Quotidien in Sherman Oaks, and while we were eating Mike goes "Wow, look at that gold stroller!" and I looked up and it was Gwen Stefani et famille! They took a seat in the back a table away from us and were the perfect picture of happy family life. Gwen was totally rockin’–she had her signature red lips, platinum hair (with bangs and pulled back) and Gavin was more casual but still movie-star handsome. Kingston was adorable!

Kingston wandered around the restaurant playing with all the other babies, and he played with Mattie! It was really cute. Gwen followed him around and we all had to act like it was no big deal that Gwen Stefani was by our table. She was nice and smiled, and we had a little mom-chat. She is a huge rockstar and a fashion icon, but she was still THE MOM. She had to follow her kid around the restaurant because that’s what moms do. It was beyond cool. I had a headache from trying to keep in the blathering idiot-fan inside me. Because I am the kind of person who back in the day went to Duran Duran concerts and SOBBED HYSTERICALLY.

Mike was actually really impressed that I was so casual. He thought I would totally blow it. But as I said, it GAVE ME A HEADACHE. I just wanted to slobber all over her and tell her how much I love her music and her um, "style". Which is such a lame thing to say to someone when you think about it. Or as my sister said, I could have totally blown it by saying "So what’s Kingston’s name?"

The crowd at the restaurant were all casual, affluent parents in their 30s with their babies. Seriously each table was Mom, Dad and Their Only Child Who Is Under the Age of Two. Gwen, Gavin and Kingston fit right in. Although of course, they had this buzz around them and just pizazz! I think because you EXPECT them to look fabulous. They were in public so had to put on their public face. Whereas all the other families were just wearing jeans and sweats and baby-stained clothing.

In other news, the Writer’s Strike is ruining our marriage. For the love of god, producers, give the writers what they want! Give them everything! I have very dear friends who are on strike and I fully support the strike. But the main reason I want the strike to end is because it has RUINED THE FABRIC OF OUR DAILY LIFE.

Mike and I work a lot, and we work at home. The only time we get to chill out is late at night, in front of the Daily Show. This has been a really nice routine. At around 10pm every night, Mike stops working, I stop writing, and we both flop down on the couch and watch Stewart and Colbert and company. We drink a couple of glasses of wine, we laugh, then we go to sleep.

But ever since the strike, we flop down on the couch, have some wine, and then do some aimless flickering of the channels, lost and confused. Where is our daily dose of ironic, political humor??? Where is the cozy feeling we get from watching our favorite shows together? GONE!

So there is no snuggling on the couch.

There is no bonding.

Instead, Mike watches STAR TREK re-runs. I like Star Trek. But seriously, NOT ENOUGH to watch it EVERY NIGHT.  AARRGH!

Last night in desperation we actually watched Daily Show and Colbert Report re-runs. Sigh.

Don’t even talk to me about what’s going to happen once they stop having new episodes of GOSSIP GIRL!!

Anyway. I am also over thousand-dollar handbags. (Notwithstanding my earlier statements about Balenciaga handbags of course.) I mean, SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. Why are handbags so expensive now??? It used to be you could buy a decent Prada handbag for $500. Then $800. Now all the handbags are freakin’ $1800-$2500.

This is just wrong. This is ridiculous. I refuse to buy another thousand-dollar, or over-thousand-dollar handbag. My friend Minty refuses to buy Marc Jacobs for this same reason. (The top-level Marc Jacobs line not the Marc by Marc Jacobs line which is muy cheap and kind of looks like the Gap now.) Minty thinks the prices are RIDICULOUS. (And Minty could afford to buy the whole collection every season but she doesn’t.) "Marc Jacobs is just pulling a prank on us." she tells me.  Minty is always fabulously-dressed, I have to add. But she likes Trina Turk, Tory Burch, Diane Von Furstenberg. Reasonably-priced fashion. She spends on her collection of classic Chanel handbags.

I’ve been carrying a fabulous cherry-red oversized Marni bag, big enough to hold Mattie’s diapers and lunch and snacks, as well as my sunglasses, wallet, makeup, cellphone, laptop. I bought it for $1200. And now its zipper is broken, the leather is worn, and there’s Cheerios and dirt at the bottom of the bag. I looked at it the other day and I realized, it was NOT WORTH IT.

So now I am buying a new bag. It is from Martine Sitbon and it is just as big as the Marni and it is only $247. It’s a lot of fabulous for a little price. And since in six months it’s going to get trashed anyway, I think it’s the right price for me.