Get It Or Get Off the Bus

Events page is updated with my tour appearances! Come see me! I’ll have Revelations tattoos and Blue Bloods t-shirts! Oh—-wait – for the NYC library I might not have the T-shirts yet. Spoke too soon. Hopefully I will have them for the rest of the tour. Eeep! So much to do…so much to do…

Today I share with you two reviews that I thought were interesting. One is about Blue Bloods, where the reviewer likened my style to Bret Easton Ellis’s (in a good way, she’s a fan of Ellis too). I just glowed when I read this. I looooove Ellis. In fact, I wanted to be a writer because of Jay McInerney’s Bright Lights, Big City and Ellis’s Less Than Zero. I was a suburban kid who dreamed of being glamorous and tragic. I despair that I am too cheerful to ever really achieve that level of langour and cool. Also, I get slammed a lot by the non-fashionable for writing about designer labels in my books. And it’s nice to see someone who gets it.

I also got my first Angry Mom email about The Ashleys. I guess I should be glad it’s just the first one. Angry Mom finished the book and concluded that I was pushing “superficial values” (you know, because of the brand-name dropping), blah blah blah, and challenged me—as a MOM, to write a better book. She says she never censored her daughter’s books before, and she picked up the Ashleys because she was curious about what her daughter was reading, and she was horrified, HORRIFIED. Ah well. I have to say right now: some people get you and some people don’t. Angry Mom does not get me. She did not find my book funny. Or a fantasy. Or a satire.

I do not know what to do with these people. All I can say is MY mom let me read whatever I wanted. And sure, sometimes she looked at my books and had a concerned look on her face.

My mom (picking up my book Flowers in The Attic, which I was reading in sixth grade (in which a mom poisons her four children and two of them become um, romantically involved with each other, Eep!): “Is this for your age?”
Me: “Uh-huh. Everyone in school is reading it.”
My mom: “Oh, ok.”

My mom (picking up my book Princess Daisy which I was reading in seventh grade (in which a brother and sister become um, romantically involved with each other, Eep!). “Is this for your age?”
Me: “Uh-huh. Everyone in school is reading. it”
My mom: “Oh, ok.”

She never took a book out of my hands. And yes, she TOLD me not to read their books—my mom and dad had a huge library of books, and they read for pleasure – there was lots of Harold Robbins and Sidney Sheldon on those shelves. And Jackie Collins too. Yes, they had the classics as well, but I was drawn to the ones with the lurid covers of women wearing leaopard-print coats and obviously nothing underneath. So of course, I snuck them out and read them. But I have to say: I was eleven, and I read The Carpetbaggers, and though I understood it was dirty, I didn’t even really get it. I didn’t understand it and it went over my head, so I stopped reading Harold Robbins.

And did I think romantic relationships with one’s relatives was a good thing after reading V.C. Andrews and Judith Krantz?? What do you think? LOL!

Well. Maybe Angry Mom was right. My mom was wrong to let me read whatever, because I grew up to write superficial books! SNARF!

Anyway, here’s a mom who does get it. She reviewed my book on Amazon and here’s what she has to say:

“The Ashleys Birthday Vicious reminds me of 18th and 19th-century comedies of manners by Sheridan, Somerset Maugham, Moliere and Oscar Wilde. Smart teens will probably recognize it for the fantasy it is—-and maybe parents and teachers can point them to its earlier literary models.”

Yeahhh, boy!!! Moliere, Wide, Maugham and Sheridan!! Woo-hoo!

Some people get you or they don’t. The people that get you compare you to your idols, the greats. The people that don’t think you are trash.

I have always been a “divisive” author. I learned this early in my career. I am not a one-author-for-everyone kind of flavor. You gotta get me to like my stuff.

Kind of like Rachel Zoe, whom the Times called “a pox of humanity”—I mean, c’mon! Why are fashion people slammed so nastily? Really? A Pox on humanity? Like the Nazis? Rachel Zoe? URGH! I mean, so she shops a lot and spends too much money and re-did the furniture in her house for a shoot (um, Fendi Casa was a sponsor – which meant she did not pay for those new couches. Puh-leeze. It was a stunt for the show. Hello.) I think Rachel Zoe is funny and cute and fashion-mad. I love all the fur and the gold jewelry and the hilarious assistants. Can I get hair like Tay’s? I also love Brad’s preppie look. Of course I have a fag hag crush on him. I gotta love someone while Ryan from Flipping Out is off the tube!! Ryan: Call me: I lofff you.

The article also intimated that we can’t celebrate shopping or glamour because of dire economic times. Which I think is all B.S. Now more than ever we need our escape, our trivia, to be amused by the very, very small problems of very, very rich people. Sure, maybe some want the Sturm & Drang but as for me, I think of Fred and Ginger and all those beautiful ballgowns and those insane penthouses and how they lifted everyone during the Great Depression.

I want more feathers and sequins and frivolity! Bring it!!