The Ashleys: Jealous? is out today!

Celebrate by calling your crush and asking him EXACTLY what he thinks of you on a scale of 1-10 in looks, intelligence and sense of humor!

Haha. Just kidding. Don’t do it. You’ll be in your 20s and in therapy asking Why Why Why did Giancarlo Pertutti give you a seven! A seven?? I was at least a solid 8!

In JEALOUS? The girls are all in a fit because of a new site called ASHLEYRANK that ranks all the girls in class according to style, social presence, smarts and smile.

Oh yes, my dears, my friends and I used to play this game. I still remember I got a “four” for “funny”. FOUR??  A FRACKING FOUR FOR MY SENSE OF HUMOR??

Well, who’s laffing now, I ask you.

It’s all fun and games until someone loses their self-esteem. Haha!

Children, I kid. I kid. But you know, you’re only young and stupid once. One day you’ll grow up and realize how great it is to be your own bad self. But I remember being in seventh grade, and wanting so much to know what other people thought about ME. Is that so wrong?

Anyway, today I visited a wonderful book group made up of fabulous women in their 60s, who were so wonderful and inspiring. It was such a pleasure to meet a group of culturally involved, interesting readers (they read my book Fresh off the Boat). These were not the bake-cookies-grandmas. (Even though some of them probably were, but you know what I mean.) It was so nice to learn that life doesn’t end at 50 or 60 or 70. It just means there are even more things to look forward to! They were all so fashionable and funny and cool…I can’t wait to be a great dame like them one day!

xoxo
Mel